A Steady Stream Of Consciousness

What Was, And Is...

2006-03-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lapse in posting. I truly regret any mental anguish and trauma that has been caused by my absence here. My flogging will continue until morale improves.

So...anyway. Decisions have been made and my steady stream...

has turned into...

We are headed back to Nashville to settle and continue my experience and career in music. It has been a great 3 years moving to Nashville, Birmingham, Kansas City, Montgomery, and now back to Nashville. Stephanie and I have learned a lot and have grown deeper in our faith and hopefully more like Christ. We have no regrets but are ready to settle down. Now what? The last two weeks has brought a deluge of thoughts about what the future may look like. When will we move, where will we live, how will we make money? The visioning process can be quite random. Thoughts while in the shower, on the internet, in prayer, at work. The next challenge is sorting them out and seeing how the path takes shape. The annoying phone calls are going out to a lot of influential people in my life (you know who you are, or will know shortly, and I apologize). They usually go, "Hey man, I'm thinking this, this, this. Not sure how it may work out but I am going to interupt your busy life and ask for prayer, favors, input, beds to sleep in, help moving boxes, and a myriad of other things!". Then there is or will be an offer to buy lots of beer. So, be on the lookout, I will be calling! It is a great place to be and we are excited about the possibilities in front of us. Our word from the Spirit has been wisdom, and that will be our guide. God has been faithful in clarifying desire and direction, though in oft subtle ways. He is good and will continue to work good in us and make us more like Jesus. You guys are also very good to us and I want to say thank you in arears and in advance for all that you have done and will do. For now it is off to Slapout for a while and we will see you in Nashville shortly! Peace.

The Essentials

2006-01-22T11:40:00.000-08:00

These have been days of my 3 foot knot (see previous post). This week, though, has been good. I came to the prayer room in confusion, crying out (literally) for revelation of who Christ is. I needed to know the essentials again. I needed to lay down all of the thoughts and teachings and strivings and seek the man Jesus. As is his nature, he was faithful to draw close and reveal Himself in a very real and intimate way. For five days now I have been reminded of who Jesus is and his desire for his children. Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” and all the things we need will be given to us. The Holy Spirit revealed Christ to me as love, as one who gives rest, as one who’s yoke is easy and burden is light. He is the giver and sustainer of life, the bread of life and living water. He is the light that has overcome the darkness through the power of the cross. These are some of the things that the Lord revealed me this week. They are some of the essentials of our faith. They reminded me that all of the deeper things of God are found in Christ. Mike Bickel wrote that our view of God is determined by how we view those in authority over us. I have often felt that I am not able to meet the expectations of those in authority over me, therefore, God must be disappointed in my lack of achievement. As the Spirit was speaking these essentials to me this week, He also reminded me that “I and the Father are one” (John 10:30). To know Jesus is to know the Father. All of these things are who the Father is. It is such a basic, yet liberating truth. So, Jesus is untangling my knot. It is only He that can do it. My flesh is too weak and my depravity too great. The girl leading worship in the prayer room right now has been singing, “The king of the universe desires me, the King of the universe died for me that I may spend eternity with Him. He has always been faithful to me.” It may not look or feel like we think it should but the author of Hebrews leaves us this encouragement:

“ Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Christ Jesus, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)

On Extension Cords and Affections: Part One

2006-01-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

So, I have been thinking a lot. I have been thinking about a lot of things. I have been thinking so much, on so many things that my mind has become a tangled mess. It’s kind of like wrapping up the 100 foot extension cord around your elbow and hand, only to have a 3 foot long knot when you try to unwrap it. Such is the state of my brain. In the midst of the convolution o’ thought, I have run across a quote on our affections for Christ and the world. It has spoken to my current state of longing and self-pity! It is a bit long, but I encourage a thorough reading. It is a powerful and invigorating statement. So, until I untangle…

Excerpt from Religious Affections by Jonathan Edwards

“In things which concern men’s worldly interest, their outward delights, their honor and reputation, and their natural relations, they have their desires eager, their appetites vehement, and their love warm and affectionate, their zeal ardent; in these things their hearts are tender and sensibly affected, and greatly engaged; much depressed with grief at worldly losses, and highly raised with joy at worldly successes and prosperity. But how insensible and unmoved are most men, about the great things of another world! How dull are their affections! How heavy and hard their hearts in these matters! How their love is cold, their desires languid, their zeal low, and their gratitude small. How they can sit and hear of the infinite height, and depth, and length, and breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus, of his giving his infinitely dear Son, to be offered up a sacrifice for the sins of men, and of the unparalleled love of the innocent, the holy, and the tender Lamb of God, manifested in his dying agonies, his bloody sweat, his loud and bitter cries, and bleeding heart, and all this for enemies, to redeem them from deserved, eternal burnings, and to bring to unspeakable and everlasting joy and glory; and yet be cold, and heavy, insensible, and regardless! Where are the exercises of our affections proper, if not here? What is it that does more require them? And what can be a fit occasion of their lively and vigorous exercise, if not such a one as this? Can anything be set in our view, greater or more important? Anything more wonderful and surprising? Or more nearly concerning our interest? Can we suppose the wise creator implanted such principles in the human nature as the affections, to be of use to us, and to be exercised on certain proper occasions, but to lie still on such an occasion as this? Can any Christian who believes the truth of these things entertain such thoughts?

A Meditation

2005-12-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:1-5 ESV

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this." Isaiah 9:6-7 ESV

"I am the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end." Revelation 22:13 ESV

"Surely I am coming soon." Revelation 22:20

In the midst of eternity he came to earth, to shed his blood for the sins of the world. Thanks be to God!

Two Trees and My Stream of Consciousness

2005-12-07T15:16:00.000-08:00

Most have heard the cliché phrase "I’m a lover not a fighter". Well, as sexy and Don Juan as that sounds, I am not sure it applies to me. I would better describe myself as "a talker not a writer". I have never written thoughts for public consumption. What I have written in my journal I rarely go back and read. For me, writing is a form of praying in the Spirit. The words come from the outpouring of truth, grace, and revelation on my heart. It is very much a stream of consciousness type of writing. But, now I have come to write, hopefully with some coherence.

The Lord has been revealing a lot of new concepts me lately. One idea that has come up several times is the two trees in the Garden of Eden, the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. In "The Life Giving Church" Ted Haggard writes, "The choice offered to Eve is the same choice we are offered today. We can choose to live according to the knowledge of good and evil, maintaining a form of godliness and righteousness (but one that will ultimately leave us cold and dark), or we can choose to eat from the tree of life and discover godliness and righteousness naturally through our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ." This thought causes me to pause and examine my motives for writing publicly. Am I writing to pontificate on lofty ideas to present a form of godliness and righteousness, or to share how the Spirit is revealing to me the path to holiness in hopes that it will bring encouragement to others? I am trusting through prayer that the Spirit will speak the truth and that God alone will be glorified.

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few" (Matthew 7:13-14). Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). His way is difficult, but through Him we obtain true life. It is a narrow path to which we are called to walk. I am used to walking on narrow paths. Stephanie and I have done a lot of hiking over the past few years, and have found that the path is usually only several inches wide. It is often strewn with rocks and roots leading us up, down, and around through the woods. Hiking is different from taking a walk through the neighborhood, and takes some getting used to, but I think we have gotten pretty decent at it. So why is walking the narrow path of Christ so difficult for us? It is because true life comes not by our power but through the power of Christ. We must be like Him to become "holy as the Father is holy" (1 Peter 1:15). As we step further into the Light of the World, the more our depravity is exposed. Jesus said that even the hidden things will be revealed (Matthew 10:26). The closer I get to God, the more my sin becomes apparent. I am not just talking about stealing a pencil off of the supply cart in third grade. I am talking about continuous revelation and repentance. It is like a t-shirt I saw recently, "I am the wretch the song is talking about." I am really bad at walking this narrow path! Two eyes are not near enough to cover the gougings needed to quell my lustful thoughts in day. I do not have enough hands to cut off for the times they cause me to sin. Nor do I have enough tongues to cut out to cover the lies that I use try to make me look better. I have too many idols and covet too many possessions that I think will make me a better person. Oh, the depth of my sin! How much greater is the light, though, that consumes all darkness and the blood that covers the sins of man. Thanks be to God!

Becoming holy is the revelation of the depth of our sinfulness. It is an examination of those things, great and small, that we have hidden in our hearts. It is repentance, turning from the ways we have lived that lead to destruction to the ways of Christ that lead to life. Scripture says that Jesus is the Word (John 1:1) and the Truth (John 14:6). Jesus said in John 17:17, "Sanctify them in truth; your word is truth." It is turning to the Word, Jesus, and scripture to learn the truth and live by it. This is where it can get painful. This is where conviction comes. Followers of Christ must embrace the truth of Scripture, casting off those things that lead us not by the Spirit but the flesh. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). As we embrace the Truth and seek atonement for our sin, we must also forgive the sins of others against us so that we may be forgiven (Luke 6:37). Jesus said forgive them 490 times (Matthew 18:22)! Indeed, the path is narrow and the way is hard. It is difficult for the mature and immature believer alike and it is foolishness to those who reject the Truth and are perishing (1 Corinthians 1:18).

Okay, so this does not sound like sunny days and blue skies! But, Jesus says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). The grace is abundant that carries us through the refining fire. Through the blood shed on the cross, we are cleansed of our impurities. The path to holiness is not one taken by our own power. We are empowered by grace and led by the Holy Spirit.

As we delight in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). His desires become our desires. His desire expressed through Paul in Romans 12 is that we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds, becoming holy that we may know the will of the Father. Seeking the renewed mind, we must choose which tree we will dwell in. In Genesis 2, God commanded Adam to eat from any tree in the garden except the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. With full access to the full provision of the garden, including the Tree of Life, they choose to eat of the forbidden tree, thus bringing sin into the world. It also brought forth self reliance. No longer did man wholly rely on God for provision. Man now chased after desires of the mind and flesh. Will we chose to perpetrate a form of godliness and righteousness by relying solely on our intellect and gaining knowledge for our own edification? Or, will our minds be renewed to dwell in the Tree of Life, where we use the knowledge and wisdom given to us to give life to those around us? Let us seek to "dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our lives to gaze upon His beauty and to meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4). As we dwell with Him and meditate in His temple, which dwells in holiness, our knowledge of and about Him becomes a palpable reality. We move to living and abiding in the Tree of Life, which is where we are most effective in sharing life, that is, Jesus, with the world. As we abide in the True Vine, the Life, He will dwell in us and we will produce much fruit (John 15:4). By this the Father is glorified, that we bear much fruit proving to be His disciples (John 15:8).